A lot can be said about the nations based on the topics they are most obsessed with. In this regard, the following is a representation of the Bulgarian and the Norwegian top obsessions. Enjoy :)
So here I am in the middle of a pleasant July evening, sitting at the middag* table listening to my beloved Norwegian family talking. While I’m chewing on the amazing salmon and gazing at the Trondheim fjord I hear a word very similar in sound to “horoscope” (when you don’t know more than 10 words in Norwegian you just get creative with the associations). As I see the seriousness in my father-in-law eyes, I am sure that the convo is totally not about horoscope. So I dare to ask my hubby what is this mysterious thing that gives them all such concerned look. He smiled and said: “Oh, my parents are just worried if we have enough food in fridge”. And right there at that moment it hit me: What is the major survival tool in Norway ? - The kjøleskap* .
As a South-Eastern European I really do not care what I have in my fridge in the period June - September as long as I have gin, tonic and ice
As a South-Eastern European I really do not care what I have in my fridge in the period June - September as long as I have gin, tonic and ice: the best trio in cooling down when it is constantly something between 30 and 40 degrees outside.
In Norway it is ALWAYS the right time to fill up the fridge, open and stare with loving eyes at the fridge, literally just talk about the fridge. You can always find tones of eggs and beacon, at least 5 types of cheese (but never the one that is suitable to make banitsa*), 3 types of fresh milk - extra creamy for your coffee, middle creamy for baking, and not creamy at all for your sensitive stomach, a lot of yogurts with different purposes, at least 10 types of ham, jars with homemade strawberry jam, butter, margarin, leftovers that everybody is so sad about but don’t want to eat, cause you need to eat a different dish all the time, don’t you? And when I dare to think that this is all the food in the house, there comes the freezer in the basement - now that’s the real Valhalla of every true Norwegian. I mean I get it - the supermarkets don’t work on Sundays so it’s better to be prepared, right?
Don’t get me wrong, I am a 100% food lover but I’ve lived in an apartment in the centre of a 2-million city and I really didn’t have space for additional freezer. Also, Bulgarians love cooking but it is very season oriented activity. For example, lamb meat is exclusively spring dish, cause it’s related to our Easter traditions. During summer we cook simple, light dishes and we prefer heavy meals, including red meat for the autumn and winter months.
What I find a little irritating (by little I mean freaking a lot) is that you have dinner at 5 p.m. Like this is an afternoon breakfast for me! Let me explain - it is one of the cultural differences simply because we have longer working hours, the restaurants are waaaay cheeper and also dinner is a key social event. The dinner in Bulgaria can not be less than an hour - first of all, we drink aperitifs with starters and second and most important of all - we LOVE talking and it takes time. Dinner simply is the start of the relaxing part of the day. The only activities allowed after dinner are walk, going for a cocktail / beer, sleep. Norwegians, I admire your efficiency in everything but it is a struggle to enjoy my food, cause you are in a hurry to move to the couch and watch TV. Seriously?
In other hand, when it comes to survival in Bulgaria you ain’t going anywhere in your life if you don’t know which is your zodiac sign. You know those memes saying that a girl asking for your date and hour of birth is a girl you should be running from? Well, it’s not that scary - we just need to know your асsendant so our family and small circle of friends (at least 10) have to be sure that it’s worth it to go on with the dating and if you even deserve moussaka*. There is a Bulgarian saying that goes like this: “If you instantly want to cook moussaka for a guy, that’s how you know that it is THE guy.” That’s some deep wisdom, I’m telling you!
Jokes aside, we are not some whitchcraft freaks but we do believe everything has a purpose and reason, so the fact that you are born in the Leo season is very significant for your leadership character. And it is just a funny thing that when you are fed up with your new co-worker drama, your friends are like: “Oh, let me guess, she is a Pisces?”. Or when your new hot date is over controlling about the length of your skirt, your bff is like “You really should be very careful with Scorpios”. Oh, and my favourite - when you are born on June the 7th and you are on a date with someone and he says: “My ex was a Gemini - total freak”. Above all, when you are acting very shitty, you are tired all the time, everything and everyone irritates you, the elevator is broken, just repeat the all-solving mantra: “It’s the retrograde Mercury.”
And because I’m in a good mood today: Exclusive tip for the males - guys, if your girl is on her period, don’t ask her sarcastically “Is it this part of the month again”, but say “Damn, this retrograde Mercury is a real pain in the ass, isn’t it?” instead. I guarantee that this is the key to your happily ever after because you don’t blame it on her, you simply blame Mercury and everybody is fine with that.
In conclusion - to seduce a Norwegian you need to reassure him/her that you have the right milk for his/her coffee on the next morning and to seduce a Bulgarian you just say your zodiac sign and wait to see if they are coming back from the toilet in the back of the bar.
Norwegians, I know that you are hungry now, so I’ll zip it here.
If you want to know more about a certain topic and how it is in Bulgaria compared to Norway, don’t hesitate to write me!
Ha det fint!*
* Middag: Norwegian word for dinner
* Kjøleskap: Norwegian word for fridge
* Banitsa: a traditional pastry dish made in Bulgaria, North Macedonia and Serbia, prepared by layering a mixture of whisked eggs, natural yogurt and pieces of white brined cheese between filo pastry and then baking it in an oven. Everybody ( including all my Norwegian friends) loves banitsa - you are more than welcome to try it!
* Moussaka: an eggplant or potato-based dish, often including ground meat, which is common in the Balkans with many local and regional variations.
* Ha det fint!*: a nice way of saying goodbye; literal translation: ‘Have it nice!’